I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Thomas Szasz

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.


People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov


I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers