Existence with a mental disorder

If you have never experienced a mental disorder or have never lived with someone who has something like that you probably don't know or understand what it's like.

In terms of social anxiety think about your Dali interactions with people, think about all the times that you talked with someone else and then try to think to yourself if what you said to them made them feel uncomfortable or maybe weird, basically just thinking that you are always on trial and if you make one mistake or a couple of small ones you feel as though they will never want to seek interaction with you.
Basically when you have social anxiety you feel as though you are always on trial, you can never rest, never let off your guard because you might do something fullish and embarrass yourself.

In terms of depression, try to think that every day is worthless, you constantly feel down and existence is basically pain.
It's like being stuck in a frightening liminal space between states of being, not quite dead and not quite alive, it's similar to a constant state of sleep paralysis where you don't have control over anything and everyone can push you around, you are not happy, you are in your own self made hell, a hell perfectly crafted for you specifically, in this state of mind you feel as though no one can help you, you are in constant despair and you just want this to end, you don't care about nothing else but ending that pain, and when hopelessness finally sinks in the only solution that is feasible is death.
It's not that you want to die, you want a quick solution that will end this pain, seeking help is even harder, you are afraid that will make people not want to be with you and that is only deepening the feeling of hopelessness, it is a vicious cycle of sadness.

This is how I feel every day, sometimes it's tolerable and not very noticeable and sometimes it's so strong that the feeling of impending doom can't be shaken off, you just want an end, an end to the constant pain that hunts you.