Blister

Here I am
Sinking fingers in my skin
Swimming in white tea
Pools and pools of tea(rs)
It is not even my favourite colour
I take a sip and it spills all over me
All over me
When I lick it off of the floor
Refusing to let it go
To waste
Dripping down my tongue.

I envy those who touch him
I am jealous of them for they hear his voice
Those who can smell him – I despise the most
All for them and none for me
With no one taking
And no one giving
Me
I daydream and I fantasize
I tighten my grip on their eyes
And pull them right out of the sockets
I invite them for a flight to hell – this is where they met I
Am kicking them out of the windows into flames
Dying of laughter.

No
I am not that witch
Anymore
Pardon me
But when she called me the lunatic from the attic
It was as if I
Stood naked in front of her
It was as if she
Heard my song through cracks in the ground
And since then I feel how
She is watching right through me
Like thin plastic.

Thin
Thin
Polymer in my cheeks
In my lips
I am the doll
Sometimes I feel as if I am the balloon
And not a Helium one
Sometimes I am the string
An inflatable girl filled with Xenon
Lying heavy on the ground
Ready to leave – I want to live
Yet.

Never grieving
I show no mercy
Wearing my shotgun skirt I stride
Moving gracefully through the crowd
Performing a little dance
As my eyes twitch and glance at leftovers
Like a tic
I am invited to the ballroom by the wrong strangers
They are hungry
Because they are not full of themselves
Like I am
Carrying blazing hot summer
In the form of a stubborn
Blizzard.

Holding my own hand
Kissing my own knuckles
Ready to land the punch
On what has left a mark on me
That has never left
Holding back as a result
A terrifying sheet of glass separating between
Revenge
And my nightmares
Tempting my fingertips
In front of the mirror.

I am grasping dizzy worlds
Picking
Words with care
Wishing to be there
Too
Smiling with
Despair
All over my teeth
Luckily
Not everyone takes their time to read.