I like the sadness

I see people's faces when I say it, the warry on their faces like I'm some crazy person, it's not like they not feel the same just afraid to say it out loud so I stopped. I stopped talking, sharing at this point I don't look at people's faces at all. cause it is weird. I love to be sad in pain its the only way I feel something otherwise it is all void its empty I'm empty. I don't feel anything, running my life to studying at university I don't care about, to please parents that live their life through me, finish to work in something I hate, meet someone that makes me feel slightly excited by my existing only to through ourself to the bondage of marriage, children, debt and money. eventually, hate everyone and everything while I wait for my death recalling my unfulfilled life. yes, I am the weird one, me.