the develop

i don't want to tell lies,
yet honesty doesn't seem pleasant.
lies make me feel like a king,
and truth like a peasent.
so how can a simple man,
choose between right or wrong?
how can he upgrade the humans,
the fools he's been counted among?
and if the simple man is me,
and all i seek is to find joy.
if that horrible steryotype is myself,
how do i become more then a weeping boy?
i've been taught to be proud,
to diclare my possessions.
to notice the odd,
and choose all right professions.
but i want to forget,
all the nonsense i know.
i want to release thoughts,
and all the opinions i stow.
but how do i think.
after years of not venturing?
how to find the right path,
when i'm teryfied of entering?
it's confusion, you see,
that got me to this street.
it's the complete desperation,
of the heart i mistreat.
i've grown awfully tired,
of the words and conversations.
i seem to have lost intrest,
in all shows and declarations.
so i say my goodbyes,
as i close the last door.
just know i never loved,
now i will think no more.