you never

There is so much left to say
But you always want it to be your way
So I behaved as you asked
But you said
You always get yourself ahead
I had no choice
But to feel ashamed

I could always change the time
I could always fake a smile
The surroundings never knew
Never asked
How I feel
Where am I
What time is now
When should I
Be happy again

You used to love me so much
Everything seemed easy through your eyes
I cried
So many times
But you didn’t seem to care
Didn’t seem to notice
Who I am
When I’m with you

I feel different
From what I want to be
Is it natural to hate my being?
I don’t know anymore
What is wrong with me
What is wrong in me
That you keep telling me to change

Stop talking
I can hear you from miles
It is not a fair game
You’re inside my head
For too long, it has never changed
But here I am, all ashamed
Of who I am