what do i really feel

i can smile,
i can take it,
but tonight i will break it
you call me fat
you call me ugly
you break my spirit now
i can lauge,
but not so much
you can think that i don't care
but inside it hurts so bad
–
why do i have to change for you?
myself isn't good enough?
you make my life black n' white
now all i got is a broken heart
nobody will like me
the shy girl that you see…
–
i'm tired to sit alone every day-
while everyone's staring
laughing, smiling
i don't want to go back
i just want my old friends
i have dreams to learn a classes that nobody have,
but i have a bigger dream- to have my old friends back
i can't lie anymore
i'm not fine
this is an endless pain
that i don't want anymore
i just want to stay in my bed,
with my teddy bears, and never go out again.