Saying out Loud

There are a few things I can't say out loud
Neither could whisper, nor could I write
And inside they stay, an unsaid cloud
Deathly scary and not at all light

Of all those things I shall never let go!
Never forgive and forlet and forsake
Burried they'll stay, hidden and low
As much as needed; as long's it would take

The time passes by, a day and a week
I slowly realise, I don't know what I seek
I am ready to search, I am willing to try
But I doubt if there's anyone who could hear my cry

I can't say I'm sure
And I can't say I'm not
I've been thinking quite a lot;
There must be a cure!

Was it a lie? Is my way not true?
Was it a mistake? False through and through?
To live in the shadows, to survive on my own?
To walk through the darkness, cold and alone?

It's all a confinement, a delusion of free
A prison of heart, soul, and mind
And here I am now, like a long dead tree
Weakened and helpless and blind

There were many things I coulnd't say out loud
I told them by whisper, I tried to write
And outside they went, now released and proud
I finally did what I thought that was right.