Kids
"Is there something wrong with me?"
The man asks his gods.
The man seems
to have it all.
But something inside
Is not as the eye
Sees –
he is not as he seems
"Cease
the appearance" a man asks his god.
"Something inside
Is not what the eye
seeks".
Appearance is all?
God is ideal
Has god created man
out of something
In him?
Than god is flawed, and we are his sins.
or man
is made
out of nothing
And god he will only remineds
slitely.
Similarly.
Should man create his
appearance
Out of the real
Or out of the will.
What god would have done?
What god has already done.
A man from nowhere. Out of nothing.
God is his unrelated father
And i cant grow metal skin.
If father loves me –
I still die alone.
"Is there something wrong with me?"
The man asks his gods.
God doesn't answer
So the man gives love
And let his mistakes
Have the same destiny
Of his real self.
United as lovers
Dying together.
תגובות (1)
ה״רציתי להוסיף״ שלך יכול להיות קטע בפני עצמו.
עד ירידת שורה מספר 23 זה היה פשוט מושלם. באמת, במיוחד המשפט
"Than god is flawed and we are his sins"
שמשתלב שם בצורה מהממת.
אחרי זה קצת איבדתי אותך.
Slitely/Slightly?
אבל איבדתי רק *קצת* כי זה התחיל להיות מובן בהדרגתיות בסביבות ירידת שורה מספר 31, ששם זה חזר להיות מושלם והסוף לא אכזב. (חוץ מהi הקטנה בירידת שורה מספר 34)