losing a friend

Today I have felt something I have never felt before. Now, now I know how it feels to lose a friend, it's not like losing someone it's like losing yourself.
I just saw all our memories, all what we have done, passing infront of me, so close but i can't touch, I can do nothing but stand and watch all of my feelings burn, all of our memories just fading away, like someone took them and put them far away in the dark. I have nothing. I am empty. I feel like i had born again, but i had born sad and now, I have to teach myself how to walk alone, how to breath and how to live, how to live half alive. Today i have lost part of me, part of my heart, part of my life. I wish i could fix everything but now it's too late, I guess I had missed all my chanses and now everything is gone, everything is wrong, every thing, every breath hurts, every single word tearing me apart. I feel lost, all the time we spent together worth nothing. I am falling apart, crying for help, feel like I am dying but I wish I were already dead.