חחח שיר חדש באנגלית $:
Three years of dreaming and then two min to live:
INTRO:
I walkin' through a mirror of gold
try to find a way to wake up
and i'm falling to the ocean
try to keep my heart workin' for u
just because u asked me to
and i'm waitin' for u to wake me up from this nightmare
look like it's been foreverand u didnt wake me up
i'm startin' to thinkin' that this is the reality
now I can see a door at the bottom of the ocean
and I was try to opend her up
then I could see a shinin' light
….פה אמור להיות סולו של גיטרה X:
finally I woke up and after I oppend my eyes
I saw u holdin' my hand and cryin'
so I told u to stop
then, looked at me and u kiss me
But the terrible thing is, that after two minutes I died
תגובות (5)
Okay sweetheart, since you wrote this song in English, I feel its only fair for me to post my comment in English as well.
So first of all, you must work on your writing: we usually do not write 'u' we simply write the word itself: YOU.
Second, you have a few grammar issues, you need to work on your grammar. For example: in the first line you wrote:
I walkin' through a mirror of gold.
Whereas the correct spelling is: I am walking through a mirror of gold. Doesn't included the shortcut you made, that's actually okay I just didn't feel like reviewing that.
I promise you that other than those few errors your song was enchanting! The lines expressed deep feelings, and the words have shown mastery of the language. Keep training-get better-keep writing!
Your friend: Lisa.
ערב טוב ל-TalXLChocolate
אמנם אינני בקיאה באנגלית כמו המגיבה הגב' ליסה אך כמה שהבנתי זה סיפור נפלא, ומבקשת ממך שתמשיכי, אם באנגלית, אם בעברית , ואם בכל שפה שתרצי , העיקר קדימה לעבודה, אהבתי מאד מאד ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
באהבה בקי
well im just going to in 9 grade
so sorry XD
actually I have more songs in english but I didnt work on my english this summer because I didnt need to ,tnx anyway :D
תודה רבה בקי :)
ביום שבת אני מבטיחה להמשיך ,אחרי שאני יסתדר שוב עם הבי"ס ♥♥♥♥♥
Doesn't matter which grade you're going to be, it's the English level that matters.
I speak English well since I was 9, but that's my dads fault… HE MADE ME LEARN IT.
I am going to be in tenth grade this year, and my English is… Well… Let's call it OK, it's not perfect. You should really work on your English on your spare time, that helped me a lot.
And again: I still love what you wrote, its beautiful.
LOL yea I know it ,I read books in english and I see movies in english to make it batter XD
tnx :)