Note To Self

Do you know this feeling when you sometimes feel alone?
You have your loving family and a few good friends, life is going quite okay, yet you feel so alone.
At this very moment your eyes well up with tears and you have this lump hurting in your throat, it all seems so cold and meaningless and there's nowhere to go, you're lost in your thoughts and you're drowning so achingly slow, it's suffocating you, you know you're close to being gone.
Then the tears stream down your face and you let yourself sob, burying your face in your pillow so no one can know.
And it's hard to control these feelings, you feel like a loser and want to crawl into a hole, "why am I like this, when did it all start to fall?". Your heavy breath tells it all, sometimes it's so hard there's no strength to call, all these people who might want to be by your side when you hit your head against a wall. And it doesn't get better, but you know you just have to grow, grow stronger for yourself and all these amazing people who have been there for you when you started to roar, and they keep telling you it's going to be okay, and you believe them, you believe because you just need someone to trust in this world. And hold on to, hold on to this feeling. This feeling when you only think you're alone. but actually, you are not. You are never alone.