sometimes nothing matters

sometimes i feel like sleepng just put on music as loud as i can and close my eyes, escape from everything, just be in a diffrent world, a better world. my world. nothing is really wrong, nothing happend, and the thing that did happen doesnt explain why im broken, lost, why i gave up on everything. so i close my eyes, just for a little while, just enough for me to believe nothing is real. that the dream is the reality and the reality is just a nightmare i would soon wake up from. there's no one i can talk to. no one to listen and say "i understand". because, how can i explain something that i don't understand ? i'm in pain that doesn't really hurts. just an itching in the missing place that was always empty. so i made mistakes. i lied. and now there's nothing. so i close my eyes, and wake up from the nightmare.