My sinking ship

Why do you always absent when I need you the most?
Couldn't you predict it ahead, while I was still okay?
Something must have gone extremly wrong, haven't it?
I mean, I have never been more unrestrained, boundless and furious than I'm right now, and this is a thing that doesn't pass easily.

It's all of this situation, all of the events, combined together into such an obnoxious, outrageous and frustraining way.
Oh.
Dear God, I barely believed in your existance before, why do you have to turn it into zero, ha? Is this what you want, my dear? Zero?
Do I look like a person who's giving second chances?
Nope, I am certently do not, and I will never be as long as you're in picture.
That's right.
Just get out of my life, okay?
You and all of your stupid games.
Do I look like someone who wants a challenge?
Do me a favour, you mad, just quit it already, okay?

Don't you ever feel like taking a match and burn everybody down?
I do. Oh, I really do.
I feel like taking a gun and just obliterate each and everyone of those people.
That thought makes me laught. Unfortunately, it won't last for more than two seconds.
Then I'm back to hate, and I'm doing it without mercy.
Oh, what wouldn't I give to slay them all…
Burning them down…
But I can't, because the water surrounds me is putting the fire out,
and the saddest part is?
This is actually the first time I actually notice that my ship… sinks…